when life gives you lemons....

"when life gives you lemons, make lemonade".

the thing is, i'm not always the greatest cook. i can't even take a lemon and make lemonade.

just when life seems like it's going perfect, something has to happen. it's like the universe doesn't want me to have more than five minutes of happiness.

i find something, or someone that makes me happy. happier than anyone else. i smile, laugh, and spend hours sweating away in a giant solar oven, otherwise knows as a car, just so we can talk.

i feel happy and perfect. up until my mind decides that just a little bit more sugar would help to make my lemonade taste so much better.

joke's on me. the sugar must be broken. because all it does is make things sour.

when apologies don't seem to cut it, and leaving it alone only makes things worse, what else can you do? start a blog. here i can write. here i can attempt to write.

here i can vent. here i can tell the truth.

i hope that she knows the truth. i hope that she knows that the three minute three second phone call at eleven ten didn't help me at all. i hope she knows that it only made me feel worse. i hope she knows that i still care. i hope she knows that she is still in my mind. constantly. i hope she knows that deep down, somewhere inside, below all of those crazy genes, i do love her. i just need to figure out how first.

let's just hope that the sugar isn't broken anymore, cause life keeps handing me lemons and i want to add just enough to fix our lemonade.