unknown

 

 

 

the world is full of unknowns. there are quotes all written by an "unknown". our minds are full of unknowns. unknown possibilities. unknown ideas. unknown. it's an empty word, yet, it is a word full of everything and anything.

tonight my unknown is full. i want to write about something amazing. something beautiful. poetic. captivating. but my overflowing unknown is taking over. i don't know what to write to fulfill my need of the unknown. i don't know what to say to catch everone's attention. to make you want to keep reading.

i strive for perfection. i strive for imperfection. only because i am such a perfectionist. my perfection in imperfection is what is keeping me from writing what i am really thinking. i want it to be perfect, but know that it doesn't have to be. but the obsessive compulsive in me is taking over.

to fulfill my need i have decided to not write about my problems, or writing about things from the past, i have decided to just stick with what is amazing right now. here. and now. in this moment.

i love the tough life i live. i love the challenges i face. i love being busy. i love the friends i have made and continue to make. i love the fun things i do. and heck, sometimes i even love the boring things i do, because math can actually be fun.i love living with my brother, even if it sucks at the same time. i love the tough life i live.

"do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment".

the ugly truth...

"some people just deserve a high five. in the face. with a chair"

sometimes, telling the truth isn't the right way to go about fixing your problems. sometimes, telling the truth is the only way you can go about fixing your problems. then. then there are cases like this. when, telling the ugly truth is the only way you can feel relief. mostly because you have wanted to say these things forever.

i know it's not nice. and i know it's not proper. that's why they call it the ugly truth right? let's hope so, cause here it come. a whole load of the ugly truth. just to get it off my chest. just hold on. i promise. once i get through this, things should, hopefully, get better. at least it will feel better to finally say what needs to be said. and heck, you will probably never read this. you probably don't even know that i have a blog.

here it is.

do you not listen to yourself? your words, your actions, your breathing? shut up! it's rude, it's annoying and it makes me so frustrated.

do you not realize tha your actions do in fact make a difference in other people's lives? yeah. hate to break it to ya, but it changes things. things that i have to deal with. it makes it so much harder to stand you. i hate the things you do and i definitely hate thing things you don't do. cause, honestly, you do next to nothing.

i'm glad that you are cooler than everyone else. i am glad that you are so special. i'm glad that you have had everything handed to you on a silver plater. i'm glad that you get whatever you want. i'm glad that you have the nicest things, and do the coolest things. i'm glad that you are the most in considerate person i have ever met.

i'm glad that everything you touch turns into gold. i'm glad that everything you do is better that what others do. especially me. news flash, you're not really better. i'm glad you have to win or your life goes in reverse. right back to when you were two. right back to that attitude.

i'm glad that i actually don't have to deal with you for that much longer.

yeah, you're great. but too much of a good thing can always turn into a bad thing. and in your case, this is a very bad thing.

wow. that was rude. and very fitting. it needed to be said. just like the dishes and the laundry need to be done. at least this got done. at least i feel relief. at least i finally got to say what i needed.

excuse the ranting. if you didn't like it too bad. i don't care. cause it probably wasn't about you. or you. cause the world actually doesn't revolve around you and everything isn't about you.

"the truth hurts"