left only with my thoughts.

"let your past make you better, not bitter" -unknown

there are so many ways and ideas to help you live your life to its fullest. to live your life the best you can. of course we all want our lives to be amazing. we all want to do something with our lives. something that will change the world. or at least our world. because of this, we have these guidelines and suggestions to help us live. one of the "most important"ways to live, is to forget your past and live in the future.

however, there is also another saying that is tossed around these days. goes something like this - easier said than done. now that is the saying that opposes every other life rule or guideline. it complicates things. especially for me.

the past. what a topic. don't get me going. if you do, i won't stop. i can't stop. living in the past stunts the growth of you present and future. i know. but a lot of times, especially of late. especially with the realization of where i could be right now at this moment. i could be fulfilling my dreams. becoming what i have always wanted to be. conquering the world. conquering my world.

the past is a confusing thing. mostly because we all have dreams. when we forget those dreams to pursue something else, we realize that our dreams are down the drain. i realize that i let my biggest dream go. the dream that kept my life moving. that kept me motivated.

the only thing worse than letting go the dream of a life time is letting go of the dream of a life time when you have already conquered the dream. realizing that  you were there. you could have been where you have always wanted to be. living life. wet. in shape. making memories. heck, even making history. who know? that's the problem, the who knows part. all i have are my guesses, my reasoning. knowing that right now, today, i could be at the top, the top of everyone.

it's a hard feeling. a feeling that i don't know how to get over. i know that the dream is still possible. almost out of my reach. but still right there.

all we have to do is get over that hill. the lump of regret sitting in our stomachs. get back to where we were. get back to what we could have been. become what we have always strived to be. set new goals. stepping stones. set our sights high. set our sights on what we want to become. and don't let go. never let go. because this is what we have. we have regrets. and we have hopes and dreams. dreams that can be acquired. all we need to do is choose which one is the better way to live. the better way to live with ourselves when it is all over. are we going to regret not living with our dreams or are we going to reminisce on what we have become. what we have conquered.

always remember -

"happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product of a life well lived" - eleanor roosevelt.